Dreams.

For the past couple of years, I've been having strange, life-like dreams. It's like God is speaking to me during the dreams and I wake up with a new direction and a new outlook on life. This morning, I had a dream and when I woke up "legacy" was really in my spirit. The dream started with me (current me) walking along the bus line at my old elementary school. I spotted the younger me (around 4 years old) standing on the pavement. I quickly recognized the little girl as someone I knew and should protect, so I ran over to her and asked her if she wanted to come with me. She was hesitant, but not because she was afraid, moreso because that's just the type of person she was. She said "yea, ok" with no emotion and I grabbed her hand and walked with her to the front of the school building. At the front of the school building were my younger sister and brother, both in their current states. They both looked at the younger me and my sister said "Look at her. Do you see that dress she has on. It's (some name brand, I don't remember what she said). It had to cost at least $3,000." She then begin to speak about each of the clothing items the younger me had on, from a small white patent leather purse with a small pearl beaded handle, down to some white frilly dress socks and shiny, black patent leather Mary Janes. The little girl got annoyed and said "It's not a dress, it's a jumper. Can we stop now?" I noticed a piece of paper in her hand and took it. It was a report card with all A's and one A- on it. I stared back at her. She didn't have any emotion and her hair was braided down in a mushroom type of style, but it was kind of frizzy. We all looked at her in amazement. Then, I remember the dream flashing to years later...I was my age that I am now, my grandmother was a few years younger than she is now (maybe 80, 85), my older cousin Cosco was his current age, and my uncle Bernard was his current age. We were in a house...I can't really describe it, but the picture is vivid in my memory. Everything was wooden and there were three visible rooms, one of which was separated from the other two by a wall. The top room was a kitchen, one step down was a living room area equipped with a fire place, and the separated room was a dining room. My cousin was setting out the breakfast items and he called my name "Muffin." I said "Yes?" And he said to my uncle "I don't know why she always says 'yes' when I call her name for breakfast. We do this everyday. She knows what I want." I started to reply, but noticed my grandmother coughing and my uncle hovering over her. I beckoned for my cousin to come into the living room, telling him that something was wrong with Mommie Helen, but just as he came over, she said "I'm fine!" I then replied to my cousin "I was trying to say, 'I don't say 'yes' because I'm unaware of what you want. I say it to acknowledge the fact that you're addressing me.'" He shook his head and said, "just like Mommie Helen." My cousin and I looked down to at what she was wearing: a pleated blouse with forest, pale green, navy blue, and yellow horizontal stripes and an ankle length denim skirt. She had on a square necklace with a circular hole in the middle...it was a shiny stone texture, a light green color, and was tied to her neck by a brown ropey chain. On her feet, she had on some denim pumps...maybe about 2", with brown leather stripes going through them. We both said "Unh uh!" Her reply was "I'm grown today!" I'm really not sure what that dream meant...and there were other parts to it that I don't remember so vividly. I know that I kept following the younger me around...to class and everywhere else, protecting her. I watched her experience some of the things I've experienced, but she didn't grow up, she stayed the same age...and everytime something would try to come at her that I didn't like, I grabbed her from danger. It was like I was my own guardian angel, protecting myself from the things that I've experienced...it was so weird. I'm going to think about it some more and maybe talk it over with some of my friends and maybe my younger sister and see what I can conclude from it. All I know is afterward, I felt a strong sense of family, history, and legacy...and I remember standing beside my grandmother and my cousin admiring how much like her I was. I saw pictures of her on the mantel and my graduation (college) picture mixed in with them and we were like twins. It was so weird, but I loved that dream. And then, I remember (current me) being in a bathroom with my sister and brother. Everything was white and my sister had instructed me to read a poem that my mom had written for me when I was born. As I read each line aloud, I began to cry and my brother put his hand on my chest...kind of like he was a pastor and he was touching and agreeing or imparting something in me. I remember wearing a silver band with some words inscripted on it on my left hand (can't remember which finger) and after that part of the dream I felt a strong legacy toward my mother. It's like the dream was telling me that I am responsible for carrying on the legacy of my mother and my grandmother...and to just go, do big things, soar, but always remain ladylike, modest, and wise. It told me that there are two ways of getting anything you want in life, the right way and the wrong way and that life will make it seem like you need to go the wrong way because you'll never get what you want the right way, but that's not true. It showed me that while I'm out doing all the right things to get what I want, I'll see others with what I want already; however, they got it the wrong way. So, I can't get discouraged, I just have to keep on grinding. When everyone else is out "getting it in" and I have my head in a book or I'm in practice or something, that's my "getting it in" so that I can get it in later....I don't know, I just felt a sense of uprightness and it fit perfectly with a quote I saw yesterday "eyes forward, head high." So now, I'm chasing after my dreams.