Tat Meanings.

This reminds me that I'm Royalty and most importantly that I don't have to put up with foolishness. I put it on my wrist so that at the random times that my Queenship slips my mind, it'll be within eyesight to bring me back to knowledge of it. With a Royal mindset, I easily dismiss silly little drama and people who treat me less than what I'm worth...it's kind of cocky, but a good cocky...because I'm not arrogant, but a lot of things are beneath me.

J. Cole - Who Dat

Writing my life away...

So, I have four books in progress. I knew for sure that I had two because I've been deliberately piecing those together. But, I write so much...at least once a day, sometimes even more, so once I sat down and thought about it, I have enough random writings that correlate to create two additional books.

Often times, I even wake up in the middle of the night, grab my phone, type a line or a thought and go back to sleep. Then, I expound upon the thoughts when I have time.

I'm really excited to become an author. I wonder how many books I'll write in my lifetime. But instead of focusing on numbers, I'll just write my life away.

I texted my little sister a J. Cole verse and she said "I know, I been listening to him." So, I asked her why she didn't been "pass the Cole," LOL!! It's so funny that I'm just starting to realize how beautiful music is. Last week, I was immersed in Brandy, Aaliyah, and TLC songs...this week I'm doing my Jay-Z and Cole thing. It's never planned, but each week I find a new (but, in most cases, old) artist that I love.

Cole has to be the realest I've heard in a minute. And you know I'm picky with lyrics.

Larry Bird

Another unsung hero...in my eyes, at least.

I heard it from Magic Johnson..."craziness to excel."

I randomly turned on my television today, which isn't something I normally do...and rather than flicking to the normal BET or Disney, I actually browsed the selections to see what was available.

I don't know what made me choose this documentary, but I just felt like I should watch it.

And now, I'm in love with Larry Bird. Well, his drive at least.

It's only been about fifteen minutes since I tuned into the show...huge emphasis on "the," seeing as I have absolutely no idea what I'm watching (lol).

I've watched Bird rebound HIS OWN shots, ultimately exceling in a league where he was outnumbered.

It was rare during those times that blacks had anything of their own. And with segregation still in its prime, you'd assume that a "white boy" would rather inflict the pain than receive it...but no, not Bird. He made a name for himself, and it wasn't simply because he was white. It was because he was good at what he did.

His tenacity, his vigor, his drive...and to think, I never knew.

dana gilmore def poetry

Thoughts on paper...or web page, lol.

"Been gone for a minute now I'm back with the Jumpoff, goons in the club in case something pop off..." LOL...I'm just kidding!! BUT I have been gone for a while. I've had a lot on my mind and even more on my plate. Commencement is a little over two weeks away and final assignments are piling in. I also have the task of planning my graduation party, which includes sending out invites, securing chairs and tables, a DJ, updating the RSVP spreadsheet each time someone new RSVP's, and deciding on a menu. I must say, I LOVE EVENT PLANNING. It's the PR major in my coming out, I guess.

In addition to all of my commencement-related tasks, I'm in the process of "figuring out my life," moving into a new place, and getting plans together for my birthday. Figuring out my life takes a lot more mental energy than physical exertion, but I've found that mental fatigue can be a far worse condition than being tired or sleepy, lol. I have three potential job offers, but they are all in the area and I really wasn't trying to stay here. I'm still waiting on acceptance from a potential grad program, also in the area--but, if I do the grad program, I can't accept the job offers, because of the intensity of the program. I still have the option of moving, but due to some family-related things, I can't leave this area until January at the latest. I was talking to my college success counselor and she recommended taking one of the jobs and giving myself a year to apply for graduate programs and actually visit the campus and talk with the admissions officials. Upon deciding on a program (which may or may not be in the area that I originally anticipated moving to) I could move in late July or early August. She said it isn't exactly necessary to move an incredibly far amount of time in advance, because area acclimation happens naturally. She also said we could find me a job before July/August 2012. Totally agreed.

Song/Video of the Week- Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes - The Block Party

"And I do what I wanna do, right foot, left shoe..."

I haven't posted in a while...and ironically, I don't have much to say right now. I have a lot on my mind...but not in a stressful manner. Just contemplating. God is doing some major things right now and I'm just along for the ride. I'm learning to trust Him completely. I don't have to act on my desires, I just have to give them to Him and He'll make sure that they come to pass. I have full faith. It's being tested, but I don't mind.

Talk to you guys later! :-)

Short Locs??

Everyone loves my locs...but they say they like them short better than they think they'll like them longer. Sooooo, I'm starting to wonder how I actually would look with long locs? Do I want to let them grow long or should I just pursue a little above shoulder-length and cut them when they exceed that length? I mean, clearly we won't have to worry about cutting them anytime soon because they aren't long yet, but it's just something to think about. Here's some short loc inspiration:

(LEFT) I love this picture! Her locs are short, but they're long enough for her to experience the versatility of styling. If I keep my locs short, I definitely want them to be long enough for updo's!

(ABOVE) Okay, so this model has far from "short locs," but I couldn't resist the temptation to post this picture! It's my favorite one from this post! Her hair color is GORGEOUS and this basket-weave updo is to-die-for. Okay, maybe not "to die for," because without being alive I wouldn't be able to rock it...but, you get the point: this is SO me!!


(RIGHT) Yet another gorgeous photograph!! This model is doing it up with this hairdo!! It embraces the fact that locs are no different from "regular hair." They can be cut, curled, and styled just like chemically treated hair. I guess whether you're sporting locs, curls, or straight hair, you have to find a style that highlights your personality and plays with your uniqueness. I've never tried a bob hair-cut, but, after seeing this, I may???

One word: WOW!!! She is the epitome of a "Loc Rocker." Her jewelry, her make-up, and (from the looks of it) her outfit are all on point. This hairstyle is BANGIN'. There's not much else to say. This pictures speaks for itself and has one word to say: "beauty."

Sooo, I'm still not certain how long I'll let my locs grow, but regardless of the length, I'm forever enslaved to locs!! I truly think I've found a life-long hairstyle. And with that being said, I've tried EVERYTHING: from a whole head of platinum blonde dye in high school to a big chop about a year ago. Some of my friend joke around and say that the only option I have left is to Amber Rose it, but I can't see myself doing that. Each day, my locs become more and more meaningful to me and I love them all to pieces...each for their own reasons. I can't wait until my babies grow up!

ARGH!!!

So, the semester's end is quickly approaching...and I'm trying hard not to be stressed. I've analyzed my classes and assessed the highest possible grades I can get in them at this point. It's not too bad, but because it's not a 4.0, I'm definitely not pleased. I'm my own toughest critic, but the worse thing about that is that because I'm so vexed by the criticism I'm inflicting upon myself, I'm unable to get into the mental space to actually put any effort toward reaching a level of achievement that will please me. I'm staring at the Post-It note that I used to write down the potential grades now...and I guess I am being a little hard on myself. If I take into account the courses that I'm not getting A's in, there's only one that I'm a little disappointed in...and I'm not extremely far from an A either...I think that's what pains me the most. I have three more classes after this semester and I'll be taking those in summer school. That gives me three more chances to make an A and another opportunity to get my GPA to the level that I want it to be before I receive my degree. With the government shutdown; however, Pell Grants are in flux and it's difficult to get money for school. I've never wanted for anything since God promised me that I would never have to, but I'm a little concerned as to whether or not I'll be able to pull together the $2,100 I need to finish out my degree this summer. Everything's been falling into perfect place regarding my move in August, so I can only trust that God wouldn't bring me this far to leave me. He knows my goals because He placed them there and I'm just going to trust Him to bring them into fruition.

"I'm proud" to say the least.

Lately I've been observing some of my close and distant friends...and we're SUCCESSFUL!! I'm so thankful for all of the people that God has placed in my immediate and extended reach. These aren't friendships that I entered expecting anything other than a basic friendship, but from what is currently transpiring, I think they'll blossom into priceless connections as I embark upon my various endeavours. It amazing me how much attention God pays to detail. He maps out each of our lives so intricately, with a purpose for each and every action. I'm so, so, so, so thankful to be a child of God!

Video of the Week- "I will wait for you" by Official P4CM Poet JANETTE...IKZ

Peace of Mind.

I'm at an interesting place in my spirit...a peaceful place...and I'm at an even more interesting place in my walk with Christ...a place of liberation. Over the past two years, I've struggled so much with living "in Christ"...when I first surrended totally to Him back in January 2009, I needed direction. I was hurting, I was broken, I was afraid, I didn't know who to turn to or where to turn. In hindsight I realize that instead of relying solely on God to give me the direction I needed, I grasped ahold of different people and places, looking to them for purpose: I entered friendships where I was spiritually, mentally, and emotionally abused, being ridiculed for any behavior that deviated from what that person or group of persons assumed to be righteous...I found myself in churches with man-based rule systems that made it impossible for me to be happy and still considered a Christian. I wanted so bad to do right that I ended up doing whatever I was told was right, never once realizing that much of what I was being told wasn't Biblical. Instead of being encouraged to love, forgive, be generous, not gossip, not lie, not cheat, or not steal, I was told that a relationship with God was predicated on how often I attended church, how much of the Bible I read a day, who I associated myself with, what type of clothes I wore, how many times a month I fasted, and other trivial things. I remember cutting myself off from all of my friends who didn't go to church every Sunday, who weren't in the choir...anyone who didn't LOOK like they served God wasn't someone I wanted to be around. I even donated and discarded half of my clothes, because I was told that anything I wouldn't wear to church, I shouldn't wear period...because after all, that was the only place a Christian should be anyway. Two and a half years later, I've stopped starving myself just so I could be accepted by arrogant Christians who assumed that being able to survive without eating made you some sort of supernatural being who was more close to God than everyone else. I've stopped spending all night the day before a test reading the Bible because I was afraid that God would be mad at me if I exchanged it for a school book. Instead of living in the bondage that I thought equated life in Christ, I've started actually living in Christ...and I'm happier, more fulfilled, and closer to God than I've ever been before. Being a Christian has little to do with church attendance, food deprivation, who's in your friend circle and what's in your closet...and more to do with what's in your heart. That doesn't mean you shouldn't go to church or that you shouldn't fast or that you shouldn't have like-minded friends or modest apparel, but it means that you should be the par instead of just looking it. What's the point of going to church every time the door opens, fasting every week, hanging around all the religious big wigs, and wearing three-piece suits everywhere you go if you're still a liar, still a cheater, still a deciever, and a still a hater...you look alive, but instead you're really dying... So now, I go to church, but I'm not of the church; I live in the world, but I'm not of the world...in fact, I like to refer to myself as "of God," because He is my refuge; in Him I live, move, and have my being; in Him do I belong. But even though I've found comfort in my individuality in Christ, I know that there are other people who feel like they don't fit in anywhere and aren't comfortable with it...I know there are people who feel like they have nowhere to turn...but I also know that there is a God who has a secret place reserved for people like us to reside...a place where there is only one direction to go, the direction of freedom. The direction where people who are happy are not labeled "sinners, the direction where living is not a sin. The direction where you can do what you want and be who you want without being incriminated because your aspirations aren't of a religious nature. I never want anyone to feel the way I've felt over the past two years...just because someone is in church doesn't give them any more of a right than a sinner to control your life. God is in control. And when we get into the Word like we need to, we'll be surprised at how much of the standards we've been living by are man-made and all the moreso frivilous.

Products of Boredom.

Dye Job!

So, I got bored last night and I dyed and re-twisted my hair!! I've decided that I'm just going to start doing it myself because I like the way I do it better than the way the shop does it. I ran into a mother with dreads. She also had three daughters with dreads, middle school aged children. She asked me if I maintained my own and told me that she did hers and that her daughters also did their own. I was ashamed!! How dare twelve year olds know how to do their own hair and I don't? LOL! Sooo, I was determined to learn. She left me with some encouraging parting words, "who better to know your hair than you?"

I think I did a pretty good job!! The color is reddish brown. I want to do something more on the chestnut blonde side, but this was my first time coloring my own hair and I didn't want to ruin it and be stuck with a bad and bright dye job, lol. This turned out well, so I'll be making me move I want within the next few months!