HI!!!

I haven't blogged in soooo long!! You know how you have a lot to catch up on, but it's SO much that you can't really remember everything?

Yeah, so I'm definitely having one of those moments...

Well, let's see where to begin--I'm going to grad school!!
I found out about a month ago that I got accepted, so I prayed, talked to some friends, and decided that it would be a better decision for me to go straight to school rather than take one of the jobs I was offered or move as I was planning to do. I went to orientation a week or so ago and I'm really eager to begin school in the fall. Unfortunately however, the work has already began as we have to write a whole new personal statement in order to get a practicum placement...but I'm good for it so I won't complain!!

Another exciting thing is that my 21st birthday is vastly approaching. 10 days and counting!! I'm uber excited because I'll finally be grown!! This is a pretty monumental birthday in my opinion and I can't wait to celebrate! Hopefully someone will get me those Lil' Wayne tickets I've been ranting about (LOL)

Hm, let's see what else?? My locs are growing and locing rather nicely. Currently, they need to be retwisted, but I have this really cute way of twisting the two sides outward and pinning it back and I've gotten a lot of compliments about that, so that's how it's going to stay until my hair appointment. This week, three of my friends have birthdays, one of which has decided to have a million and one festivities (on different days), so I guess I'll be having the same hairstyle for every one of her celebrations. June is also home to my younger sister's birthday and just acted as the month in which her and my younger brother graduated from my alma mater. That was really exciting, especially because my best friends came out and supported. It's so nice when friends become family, and when people are as loyal to you as you are to them. In the past, present, (and I'm sure, future), I've encountered a lot of shady people so it really means a lot when dependability and support are reciprocated.

So, the last thing I can think of talking about is that I got an IPOD Touch and I LOVE IT!! It's so amazing!! I used to be anti-Apple...I wasn't too vociferous about it, but I honestly didn't understand what the big deal was. I had my Blackberry and the radio in my car, and Pandora on a good day, so that was all the connectivity to the outside world that I needed...or so I thought. Until I met "Poddy." Now we're inseparable and I want to get "Paddy" and "Macky" to keep her company. It's so funny how I name everything that comes into my presence. For instance, the stuffed animals on my bed: Darcy, Colin, and Tiger. I love them (LOL).

Oh well, that's all folks :)

"Used to feel invisible, now I know I'm invincible" -Kanye West

Video of the Week-Kanye West - Champion (Official Music Video) HQ

Graduation Pictures!

Me and two of my girls on graduation day! The anticipation level was high!

I GRADUATED!!

I did it...again!! All props to the Big Guy, of course.

I'm so excited about graduating. Way more excited than I was about it happening, before it happened. When I was actually in the moment I kind of regretted not decorating my cap festively like some of the other graduates did. But nothing's worse than the guy who was beside me. He didn't even want to be at graduation! And he said he'd just signed up yesterday, for his mom and dad. I actually wanted to be there, I guess I just didn't realize the significance of the moment prior to actually being in it. Just know that next time around, I'm going HAM!!

Tat Meanings.

This reminds me that I'm Royalty and most importantly that I don't have to put up with foolishness. I put it on my wrist so that at the random times that my Queenship slips my mind, it'll be within eyesight to bring me back to knowledge of it. With a Royal mindset, I easily dismiss silly little drama and people who treat me less than what I'm worth...it's kind of cocky, but a good cocky...because I'm not arrogant, but a lot of things are beneath me.

J. Cole - Who Dat

Writing my life away...

So, I have four books in progress. I knew for sure that I had two because I've been deliberately piecing those together. But, I write so much...at least once a day, sometimes even more, so once I sat down and thought about it, I have enough random writings that correlate to create two additional books.

Often times, I even wake up in the middle of the night, grab my phone, type a line or a thought and go back to sleep. Then, I expound upon the thoughts when I have time.

I'm really excited to become an author. I wonder how many books I'll write in my lifetime. But instead of focusing on numbers, I'll just write my life away.

I texted my little sister a J. Cole verse and she said "I know, I been listening to him." So, I asked her why she didn't been "pass the Cole," LOL!! It's so funny that I'm just starting to realize how beautiful music is. Last week, I was immersed in Brandy, Aaliyah, and TLC songs...this week I'm doing my Jay-Z and Cole thing. It's never planned, but each week I find a new (but, in most cases, old) artist that I love.

Cole has to be the realest I've heard in a minute. And you know I'm picky with lyrics.

Larry Bird

Another unsung hero...in my eyes, at least.

I heard it from Magic Johnson..."craziness to excel."

I randomly turned on my television today, which isn't something I normally do...and rather than flicking to the normal BET or Disney, I actually browsed the selections to see what was available.

I don't know what made me choose this documentary, but I just felt like I should watch it.

And now, I'm in love with Larry Bird. Well, his drive at least.

It's only been about fifteen minutes since I tuned into the show...huge emphasis on "the," seeing as I have absolutely no idea what I'm watching (lol).

I've watched Bird rebound HIS OWN shots, ultimately exceling in a league where he was outnumbered.

It was rare during those times that blacks had anything of their own. And with segregation still in its prime, you'd assume that a "white boy" would rather inflict the pain than receive it...but no, not Bird. He made a name for himself, and it wasn't simply because he was white. It was because he was good at what he did.

His tenacity, his vigor, his drive...and to think, I never knew.

dana gilmore def poetry

Thoughts on paper...or web page, lol.

"Been gone for a minute now I'm back with the Jumpoff, goons in the club in case something pop off..." LOL...I'm just kidding!! BUT I have been gone for a while. I've had a lot on my mind and even more on my plate. Commencement is a little over two weeks away and final assignments are piling in. I also have the task of planning my graduation party, which includes sending out invites, securing chairs and tables, a DJ, updating the RSVP spreadsheet each time someone new RSVP's, and deciding on a menu. I must say, I LOVE EVENT PLANNING. It's the PR major in my coming out, I guess.

In addition to all of my commencement-related tasks, I'm in the process of "figuring out my life," moving into a new place, and getting plans together for my birthday. Figuring out my life takes a lot more mental energy than physical exertion, but I've found that mental fatigue can be a far worse condition than being tired or sleepy, lol. I have three potential job offers, but they are all in the area and I really wasn't trying to stay here. I'm still waiting on acceptance from a potential grad program, also in the area--but, if I do the grad program, I can't accept the job offers, because of the intensity of the program. I still have the option of moving, but due to some family-related things, I can't leave this area until January at the latest. I was talking to my college success counselor and she recommended taking one of the jobs and giving myself a year to apply for graduate programs and actually visit the campus and talk with the admissions officials. Upon deciding on a program (which may or may not be in the area that I originally anticipated moving to) I could move in late July or early August. She said it isn't exactly necessary to move an incredibly far amount of time in advance, because area acclimation happens naturally. She also said we could find me a job before July/August 2012. Totally agreed.

Song/Video of the Week- Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes - The Block Party

"And I do what I wanna do, right foot, left shoe..."

I haven't posted in a while...and ironically, I don't have much to say right now. I have a lot on my mind...but not in a stressful manner. Just contemplating. God is doing some major things right now and I'm just along for the ride. I'm learning to trust Him completely. I don't have to act on my desires, I just have to give them to Him and He'll make sure that they come to pass. I have full faith. It's being tested, but I don't mind.

Talk to you guys later! :-)

Short Locs??

Everyone loves my locs...but they say they like them short better than they think they'll like them longer. Sooooo, I'm starting to wonder how I actually would look with long locs? Do I want to let them grow long or should I just pursue a little above shoulder-length and cut them when they exceed that length? I mean, clearly we won't have to worry about cutting them anytime soon because they aren't long yet, but it's just something to think about. Here's some short loc inspiration:

(LEFT) I love this picture! Her locs are short, but they're long enough for her to experience the versatility of styling. If I keep my locs short, I definitely want them to be long enough for updo's!

(ABOVE) Okay, so this model has far from "short locs," but I couldn't resist the temptation to post this picture! It's my favorite one from this post! Her hair color is GORGEOUS and this basket-weave updo is to-die-for. Okay, maybe not "to die for," because without being alive I wouldn't be able to rock it...but, you get the point: this is SO me!!


(RIGHT) Yet another gorgeous photograph!! This model is doing it up with this hairdo!! It embraces the fact that locs are no different from "regular hair." They can be cut, curled, and styled just like chemically treated hair. I guess whether you're sporting locs, curls, or straight hair, you have to find a style that highlights your personality and plays with your uniqueness. I've never tried a bob hair-cut, but, after seeing this, I may???

One word: WOW!!! She is the epitome of a "Loc Rocker." Her jewelry, her make-up, and (from the looks of it) her outfit are all on point. This hairstyle is BANGIN'. There's not much else to say. This pictures speaks for itself and has one word to say: "beauty."

Sooo, I'm still not certain how long I'll let my locs grow, but regardless of the length, I'm forever enslaved to locs!! I truly think I've found a life-long hairstyle. And with that being said, I've tried EVERYTHING: from a whole head of platinum blonde dye in high school to a big chop about a year ago. Some of my friend joke around and say that the only option I have left is to Amber Rose it, but I can't see myself doing that. Each day, my locs become more and more meaningful to me and I love them all to pieces...each for their own reasons. I can't wait until my babies grow up!

ARGH!!!

So, the semester's end is quickly approaching...and I'm trying hard not to be stressed. I've analyzed my classes and assessed the highest possible grades I can get in them at this point. It's not too bad, but because it's not a 4.0, I'm definitely not pleased. I'm my own toughest critic, but the worse thing about that is that because I'm so vexed by the criticism I'm inflicting upon myself, I'm unable to get into the mental space to actually put any effort toward reaching a level of achievement that will please me. I'm staring at the Post-It note that I used to write down the potential grades now...and I guess I am being a little hard on myself. If I take into account the courses that I'm not getting A's in, there's only one that I'm a little disappointed in...and I'm not extremely far from an A either...I think that's what pains me the most. I have three more classes after this semester and I'll be taking those in summer school. That gives me three more chances to make an A and another opportunity to get my GPA to the level that I want it to be before I receive my degree. With the government shutdown; however, Pell Grants are in flux and it's difficult to get money for school. I've never wanted for anything since God promised me that I would never have to, but I'm a little concerned as to whether or not I'll be able to pull together the $2,100 I need to finish out my degree this summer. Everything's been falling into perfect place regarding my move in August, so I can only trust that God wouldn't bring me this far to leave me. He knows my goals because He placed them there and I'm just going to trust Him to bring them into fruition.

"I'm proud" to say the least.

Lately I've been observing some of my close and distant friends...and we're SUCCESSFUL!! I'm so thankful for all of the people that God has placed in my immediate and extended reach. These aren't friendships that I entered expecting anything other than a basic friendship, but from what is currently transpiring, I think they'll blossom into priceless connections as I embark upon my various endeavours. It amazing me how much attention God pays to detail. He maps out each of our lives so intricately, with a purpose for each and every action. I'm so, so, so, so thankful to be a child of God!

Video of the Week- "I will wait for you" by Official P4CM Poet JANETTE...IKZ

Peace of Mind.

I'm at an interesting place in my spirit...a peaceful place...and I'm at an even more interesting place in my walk with Christ...a place of liberation. Over the past two years, I've struggled so much with living "in Christ"...when I first surrended totally to Him back in January 2009, I needed direction. I was hurting, I was broken, I was afraid, I didn't know who to turn to or where to turn. In hindsight I realize that instead of relying solely on God to give me the direction I needed, I grasped ahold of different people and places, looking to them for purpose: I entered friendships where I was spiritually, mentally, and emotionally abused, being ridiculed for any behavior that deviated from what that person or group of persons assumed to be righteous...I found myself in churches with man-based rule systems that made it impossible for me to be happy and still considered a Christian. I wanted so bad to do right that I ended up doing whatever I was told was right, never once realizing that much of what I was being told wasn't Biblical. Instead of being encouraged to love, forgive, be generous, not gossip, not lie, not cheat, or not steal, I was told that a relationship with God was predicated on how often I attended church, how much of the Bible I read a day, who I associated myself with, what type of clothes I wore, how many times a month I fasted, and other trivial things. I remember cutting myself off from all of my friends who didn't go to church every Sunday, who weren't in the choir...anyone who didn't LOOK like they served God wasn't someone I wanted to be around. I even donated and discarded half of my clothes, because I was told that anything I wouldn't wear to church, I shouldn't wear period...because after all, that was the only place a Christian should be anyway. Two and a half years later, I've stopped starving myself just so I could be accepted by arrogant Christians who assumed that being able to survive without eating made you some sort of supernatural being who was more close to God than everyone else. I've stopped spending all night the day before a test reading the Bible because I was afraid that God would be mad at me if I exchanged it for a school book. Instead of living in the bondage that I thought equated life in Christ, I've started actually living in Christ...and I'm happier, more fulfilled, and closer to God than I've ever been before. Being a Christian has little to do with church attendance, food deprivation, who's in your friend circle and what's in your closet...and more to do with what's in your heart. That doesn't mean you shouldn't go to church or that you shouldn't fast or that you shouldn't have like-minded friends or modest apparel, but it means that you should be the par instead of just looking it. What's the point of going to church every time the door opens, fasting every week, hanging around all the religious big wigs, and wearing three-piece suits everywhere you go if you're still a liar, still a cheater, still a deciever, and a still a hater...you look alive, but instead you're really dying... So now, I go to church, but I'm not of the church; I live in the world, but I'm not of the world...in fact, I like to refer to myself as "of God," because He is my refuge; in Him I live, move, and have my being; in Him do I belong. But even though I've found comfort in my individuality in Christ, I know that there are other people who feel like they don't fit in anywhere and aren't comfortable with it...I know there are people who feel like they have nowhere to turn...but I also know that there is a God who has a secret place reserved for people like us to reside...a place where there is only one direction to go, the direction of freedom. The direction where people who are happy are not labeled "sinners, the direction where living is not a sin. The direction where you can do what you want and be who you want without being incriminated because your aspirations aren't of a religious nature. I never want anyone to feel the way I've felt over the past two years...just because someone is in church doesn't give them any more of a right than a sinner to control your life. God is in control. And when we get into the Word like we need to, we'll be surprised at how much of the standards we've been living by are man-made and all the moreso frivilous.

Products of Boredom.

Dye Job!

So, I got bored last night and I dyed and re-twisted my hair!! I've decided that I'm just going to start doing it myself because I like the way I do it better than the way the shop does it. I ran into a mother with dreads. She also had three daughters with dreads, middle school aged children. She asked me if I maintained my own and told me that she did hers and that her daughters also did their own. I was ashamed!! How dare twelve year olds know how to do their own hair and I don't? LOL! Sooo, I was determined to learn. She left me with some encouraging parting words, "who better to know your hair than you?"

I think I did a pretty good job!! The color is reddish brown. I want to do something more on the chestnut blonde side, but this was my first time coloring my own hair and I didn't want to ruin it and be stuck with a bad and bright dye job, lol. This turned out well, so I'll be making me move I want within the next few months!

Water Sick?

Okay, so I think I've discovered the reason why I've been getting sick. I don't know if this makes any sense, but I think I've been drinking too much water? For over the past three weeks, I've drank only water (as far as beverages goes, I've still eaten regularly). I NEVER get sick. Probably only one time a year at the most, so the fact that I've come down with something different every week for the past two weeks is significant proof that something is wrong. I did a little research and found out that too much water can reduce the amount of sodium in your blood. In turn, you have lower energy. Before doing my research, I kind of common sensibly came up with the conclusion that because water lacks calories, it also lacks vitamins and minerals that fruit juices have. For instance, Hawaiian Punch is rich in Vitamin C. Thus, no Hawaiian Punch means no Vitamin C. Drinking between 5 and 8 ounces of water a day reduces the likelihood of a woman to die of a heart attack by 41%, because the water thins the blood and prevents clotting. However, I've been drinking closer to 34 ounces of water a day, some days, over 50. I think that the key is balance. Water makes my body feel purer, it also makes my mouth feel cleaner as it eliminates the chalky build-up that juices and sodas leave behind, BUT I need to drink juice in order to remain balanced. It's kind of like becoming a vegetarian, wholetime meat is actually good for the body because it gives us proteins. So overall, I don't think it's smart to make any left-field decisions in your eating habits, but to instead maintain balance.

I Never Went to Disney World...

I feel deprived. Like seriously. There are so many things that I haven't done that I want to do! Like learn to dance. Learn to play the guitar. And the list goes on...

Disney World represents dreams unlimited. It was inspired by the dreams of Walt Disney, an American film producer, director, screenwriter, voice actor, animator, entrepreneur, entertainer, and philanthropist. When it came to dreaming and bringing those dreams into fruition, that man did it all! And his dreams cross the borders of the United States, he has international resorts in his namesake located in Tokyo, Paris, AND Hong Kong. I love the inspirational messages that represent Disneyland, especially this one, which is on a plaque at the entrance to the EPCOT Center: "Here you leave today and enter the world of yesterday, tomorrow and fantasy." I'm determined to live out my dreams just like Walt Disney did...and to treat everyday like a fantasy.

Dreams.

For the past couple of years, I've been having strange, life-like dreams. It's like God is speaking to me during the dreams and I wake up with a new direction and a new outlook on life. This morning, I had a dream and when I woke up "legacy" was really in my spirit. The dream started with me (current me) walking along the bus line at my old elementary school. I spotted the younger me (around 4 years old) standing on the pavement. I quickly recognized the little girl as someone I knew and should protect, so I ran over to her and asked her if she wanted to come with me. She was hesitant, but not because she was afraid, moreso because that's just the type of person she was. She said "yea, ok" with no emotion and I grabbed her hand and walked with her to the front of the school building. At the front of the school building were my younger sister and brother, both in their current states. They both looked at the younger me and my sister said "Look at her. Do you see that dress she has on. It's (some name brand, I don't remember what she said). It had to cost at least $3,000." She then begin to speak about each of the clothing items the younger me had on, from a small white patent leather purse with a small pearl beaded handle, down to some white frilly dress socks and shiny, black patent leather Mary Janes. The little girl got annoyed and said "It's not a dress, it's a jumper. Can we stop now?" I noticed a piece of paper in her hand and took it. It was a report card with all A's and one A- on it. I stared back at her. She didn't have any emotion and her hair was braided down in a mushroom type of style, but it was kind of frizzy. We all looked at her in amazement. Then, I remember the dream flashing to years later...I was my age that I am now, my grandmother was a few years younger than she is now (maybe 80, 85), my older cousin Cosco was his current age, and my uncle Bernard was his current age. We were in a house...I can't really describe it, but the picture is vivid in my memory. Everything was wooden and there were three visible rooms, one of which was separated from the other two by a wall. The top room was a kitchen, one step down was a living room area equipped with a fire place, and the separated room was a dining room. My cousin was setting out the breakfast items and he called my name "Muffin." I said "Yes?" And he said to my uncle "I don't know why she always says 'yes' when I call her name for breakfast. We do this everyday. She knows what I want." I started to reply, but noticed my grandmother coughing and my uncle hovering over her. I beckoned for my cousin to come into the living room, telling him that something was wrong with Mommie Helen, but just as he came over, she said "I'm fine!" I then replied to my cousin "I was trying to say, 'I don't say 'yes' because I'm unaware of what you want. I say it to acknowledge the fact that you're addressing me.'" He shook his head and said, "just like Mommie Helen." My cousin and I looked down to at what she was wearing: a pleated blouse with forest, pale green, navy blue, and yellow horizontal stripes and an ankle length denim skirt. She had on a square necklace with a circular hole in the middle...it was a shiny stone texture, a light green color, and was tied to her neck by a brown ropey chain. On her feet, she had on some denim pumps...maybe about 2", with brown leather stripes going through them. We both said "Unh uh!" Her reply was "I'm grown today!" I'm really not sure what that dream meant...and there were other parts to it that I don't remember so vividly. I know that I kept following the younger me around...to class and everywhere else, protecting her. I watched her experience some of the things I've experienced, but she didn't grow up, she stayed the same age...and everytime something would try to come at her that I didn't like, I grabbed her from danger. It was like I was my own guardian angel, protecting myself from the things that I've experienced...it was so weird. I'm going to think about it some more and maybe talk it over with some of my friends and maybe my younger sister and see what I can conclude from it. All I know is afterward, I felt a strong sense of family, history, and legacy...and I remember standing beside my grandmother and my cousin admiring how much like her I was. I saw pictures of her on the mantel and my graduation (college) picture mixed in with them and we were like twins. It was so weird, but I loved that dream. And then, I remember (current me) being in a bathroom with my sister and brother. Everything was white and my sister had instructed me to read a poem that my mom had written for me when I was born. As I read each line aloud, I began to cry and my brother put his hand on my chest...kind of like he was a pastor and he was touching and agreeing or imparting something in me. I remember wearing a silver band with some words inscripted on it on my left hand (can't remember which finger) and after that part of the dream I felt a strong legacy toward my mother. It's like the dream was telling me that I am responsible for carrying on the legacy of my mother and my grandmother...and to just go, do big things, soar, but always remain ladylike, modest, and wise. It told me that there are two ways of getting anything you want in life, the right way and the wrong way and that life will make it seem like you need to go the wrong way because you'll never get what you want the right way, but that's not true. It showed me that while I'm out doing all the right things to get what I want, I'll see others with what I want already; however, they got it the wrong way. So, I can't get discouraged, I just have to keep on grinding. When everyone else is out "getting it in" and I have my head in a book or I'm in practice or something, that's my "getting it in" so that I can get it in later....I don't know, I just felt a sense of uprightness and it fit perfectly with a quote I saw yesterday "eyes forward, head high." So now, I'm chasing after my dreams.

Happy 92nd Birthday!!

Today is my grandmother's 92nd birthday!!! I can't imagine living 92 WHOLE years. I mean, I hope I do, but, it's amazing. Like she's done 92 years worth of things, she's met 92 years worth of people, she's experienced 92 years worth of events, and she's 92 years worth of beautiful!! The picture to the left is her and I at a church banquet. It wasn't even a year ago...see how gorgeous she is!! I REALLY want to be like her when I grow up. She's an excellent role model.

I'm Backkkkkkk!!!

...like Lindsay after rehab!! I'm currently at work and I CAN'T STOP COUGHING!! I went into my supervisors' office to give her the mail and she had such an abbreviated conversation with me. I'm being treated like a step child!!...I really don't know what's wrong with me though. In all of my years of living, I've never been this sick. Last week, I had the pink eye and this week, I have what the Dr. said is a "common cold." I have a difficult time believing him though, because I woke up yesterday morning with a huge sty on my right eye and I woke up later during the day from a nap and my voice was gone. He told me I'd be better within the next ten days, which I didn't find very encouraging :(((((( But, even though I am sick, I refuse to act sick any longer. I'm taking a stand!!!

I haven't posted in a while...but I'm sick!!

My throat hurts...and my tummy...and my head.

UGH!!!

Give me a few days to get better and I'll holla back ;-)

Yawn...

I'm SO tired.
But I had SUCH a great weekend ;-)

My female best friend came in town, two of my loves crossed Sigma Gamma Rho, I went to a nice gospel concert, and I enjoyed the company of a couple of new friends.

--

I'm getting really excited about graduation now that I've taken my grad pictures and I'm in the process of planning my graduation cookout. I can't believe that it's FINALLY here!!!

I'm so excited about moving and starting a new chapter of my life. When I just think about how good God has been to me, I become tremendously exuberant. He's done so much in my life over the duration of my life, but these past few years have acted as a time of major development. I've learned so many valuable lessons, met so many wonderful people, and embarked on so many incredible journeys...and to think, life has just begun!

I'm so grateful because I know that I wasn't always focused, but God still made sure I stayed on track. Even when my actions were antithetical to my best interests, He still shielded and protected me and made sure that I never ventured too far from His will.

God is so amazing. And no matter where I go, what I do, or who I become, I will always love Him with my whole heart and with every fiber of my being.

Video of the Week-Janelle Monae: The Meaning Of 'Tightrope'

Listen to "Tightrope" here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GlpeFqMLZI

Music Spotlight: Janelle Monae

I LOVE music.

It wasn't until about a year ago that I actually started listening to it regularly, but now it has such a tremendous place in my life.

Anyone who knows me knows that I enjoy enigma. I'd rather use large, uncommonly used words or phrases that mean the same thing as smaller, commonly known ones just because not everyone would know off-hand what I mean. So, when it comes to song lyrics, I love subliminal messages, verses that require outside knowledge and research to understand...yea, all that.

I enjoy so many artists, but I'm particularly inclined to old skool music because it tends to have that essence of mystery that I enjoy. A wonderful new skool artist is Janelle Monae (pictured here). Monae is sooooooo cool. She uses future-age imagery and lyricism to produce techno-quality beats and music. Not to mention, she's a naturalista...and I think she's gorgeous!

Monae hit the scene in the early 2000's when she first hooked up with OutKast. Years later, she has been chosen to tell the story of 57821, Cindy Mayweather, a archandriod from the year 2719. Cindy is dealing with social injustice and her, along with other oppressed individuals, need Monae to tell their story. Monae plans to release a graphic novel and perhaps, a movie in order to communicate the narrative.









There are so many things I can say about her, because she's so complex, but I'll keep it simple by agreeing with her being creative, fearless, and "a different kind of diva."

"While people are categorizing what they think I may be doing, I'm focusing on creating more art. I've made a life-long commitment to stay true to art and making sure that it is preserved." -Janelle Monae

I believe we can learn a lot from Monae; one lesson being to choose something that you're passionate about and make a lifetime commitment to please it instead of the onlookers. When we get sidetracked by people, we get distracted from our purpose, initiating the loss of our happiness and our uniqueness. Monae has shown me that it's perfectly fine to be unlike anyone else.



Stay tuned, she has so much in store for her fans!

Thrifting...in my Grandma's Closet

I love, love, love my grandma. She's the coolest older person I know.

Yesterday, my dad and I started cleaning out her wardrobe room so that I can move into once I move out of my apartment. She had soooooooooo much stuff and because she can't fit or doesn't wear any of it, we were bagging it all up with the intentions of taking it to Good Will.

I asked my dad if I could make a pile of the things I would like to keep (he didn't understand why I wanted "old woman clothes," so I tried to school him on vintage, but it still went over his head). He said "yes" and I got some WONDERFUL buys...for free (lol)

When I came home, washed it, and tried it all on, it was baddddddddddddddd. So, I changed my cell phone ringtone back to "Bad Mama Jama."

And that's all she wrote ;-)

Gym Updates

This morning, I broke a sweat!!!

Nooo, not dreads drippin' sweat, but...the edges were drippin' into my face (lol). So, I think I had a pretty good workout. I'm still in the process of easing myself into an actual routine; today, I did a run/walk mixture for 20 minutes. I think I need to start going twice a day, but I can never seem to go in the afternoon: if I'm going to go to the gym, it has to be as soon as I wake up. I think I get super consumed with my day any time after that...but I have been doing thirty side crunch exercises per side, 60 crunches, and 15 push-ups with weights. That's my night-time routine. I'm going to have to do something different though. It's only been a little over a week, but I want to make sure I get the results I want as soon as possible.

I also think I need to increase my calorie intake. I'm usually not hungry and I don't stop myself from eating when I am, but I still don't think I eat enough. I weigh about 136 lbs. and I should be taking in around 1633 calories a day. I don't eat that much (lol)...perhaps 6-800, but definitely not 1633. And my body's not going to shed fat until I eat more :( So, I know what I have to do: add another gym visit to my routine and eat more!!

Yummies :-)

One of my many passions is cooking.

As of about a year ago, I was totally inexperienced and didn't know how to cook anything but hot dogs and hamburgers, which is pretty self explanatory.

Now, I've mastered a few dishes and I'm soooo proud of myself.

It took me a while to get homemade macaroni and cheese down packed, but now I'm a pro!

Tonight, I'm cooking fried tilapia, collard greens, corn bread, and homemade mac'n cheese.

YUMMYYYY!!!

Inspiration.

Now that's sexy!

Queen Germophob

Somehow I've contracted pink eye...

I don't understand :(

I haven't been around any children or any elderly.

And no, no one farted on my pillowcase.

As humorous as that may be and as endearing as the "ew's" I've been getting sound, it hurts like hell.
...Okay, perhaps hell is an exaggeration, BUT it feels really weak and kind of gritty, like I have something in my eye.

But because of this, I'm now a certified germophob. I've been making great use of my bleach wipes, I've discarded my mascara and cleaned all of my contact lenses cases, and I wash my hands...CONSTANTLY.

I'm thinking that I either got it through my contact lenses or from the gym. I never realized how many germs are probably on the hand rails of the treadmill...and the buttons. So, whenever I am able-bodied enough to go back, my bleach wipes will be coming with me.

Don't mean to push an agenda, BUT did you know that cell phones are dirtier than toilet seats?

(Holds out bleach wipe)...*here, help yourself.

One of My Goals.

Last night, I made a list of short-term and long-term goals. It really helped me to be able to see everything I want to do in black and white. Now I am able to make plans to achieve each of those goals one by one.

One of the goals that I failed to add to the long-term list was to be on the Monique Show...and I don't mean in the audience. When she first came out with a talk show, I wasn't a fan of it. I thought she was boisterous and did too much, but after watching it everyday, she began to grow on me and now I have the utmost respect for her. I feel like she's a very misunderstood person. That experience taught me that you can never judge a book by its cover, because you may miss out on some valuable knowledge that are on its pages.

Monique gives people that normally go unrecognized a chance to promote themselves. I really enjoyed the episodes with Raven Symone, Chrisette Michelle, Cymphonique Miller, and Beverly Bond. Before watching the show, I was so misinformed about each of the women mentioned above--in regards to Cymphonique and Beverly Bond, I had no idea that they even existed.

I really love the Monique Show and I am going to sit on the couch and be interviewed by her one day.

Let's Exercise!

I'm itching to go to the gym!

This morning, I woke up and I didn't even feel like getting out of bed. This is a common Tuesday/Thursday occurrence, so I figured I'd just make those my rest days where I just do some crunches and push-ups in my room.

I'm really happy that I've haven't lost my mojo and that I'm still going strong after almost an entire week of consistent gym activity!

10 Things I Can't Live Without

1. A book of stamps.
2. A bottle of water.
3. My jump drive.
4. My planner.
5. My camera.
6. My cellphone.
7. Dictionary.com and Urbandictionary.com
   
8. Google
9. Hand sanitizer
10. My closest friends.
    

"Cake Head"

Sooooooooo, I had a minor catastrophe last night.

During the day I decided to do some research on washing my baby dreads and retwisting them myself.

From what I read, apple cider vinegar rinses are good for exfoliation. It removes dandruff, fungus, and other build-up and since it's slightly acidic, it also helps restore the scalp's pH. Further, I read that baking soda, since it's mildly abrasive helps strip your hair of excess oils without leaving it completely dry...and they are both CHEAP!!

My "no-poo" movement went well...(Shampoo can lead to hair damage! Did you know that some shampoos are used to de-ice airplanes? Why would we want something so strong in our head?)...

BUT, then I tried to retwist my dreads with a honey and lemon juice mixture.

It ended up being a sticky mess!!

I thought that if I sat under the dryer for a really long time that the honey would just absorb into my scalp and hair...
...that didn't work (lol)

So, after trying to keep the honey idea alive for long enough, I decided to just rinse it out and deal with the consequences, which didn't end up being too bad.

All I had to do was wring my dreads out of the water and blow dry them.

And now they're back :)

They are a little puffy, but I'm going to retwist them tonight...with lock and twist gel (lol)

Catastrophe solved, thank God.

Frustration :(

So, this is the perfect depiction of how I feel right now:

Only, my hair and skin are a little bit darker and my breasts are a little bit smaller, lol.

I NEED MY HAIR DONE.

It itches and I have frizzies.

I was planning to go next Tuesday, but I don't think I can hold up that long.





I have three options besides waiting:

1. Change my appointment to this week instead of next week.

2. Let my roommate re-twist my dreads for me.

3. Learn how to re-twist them myself.

• Option one will cost me $65.

• Options two and three will cost me a little over fifteen dollars.

I was going to go back to the shop this one time and see how my loctician does them and then re-twist them myself from there, only going back every 2-3 months, BUT I'm scared.

Before going natural, I was so dependent upon the hair dresser.
I used to be a shampoo technician and I think it scarred me for life.
I didn't want to wash my hair myself, I didn't want to style it myself, heck, I barely wanted to unwrap it myself.

...And I think I'm ruined.

For some reason I'm just afraid that I'll mess my dreads up.
...That they'll become thin and break off.

BUT, I have to "conquer fear with love" (not sure if that applies here, but oh well)

---
As of right now, I still haven't decided what I'm going to do, but I'm leaning toward option 2, followed by option 3.

I'm only giving myself this one freebie though: if someone else does them this time, I'm doing them from here on out.

I Need a Fanny Pack!!

So, I woke up this morning ("grrr" to time springing forward) and decided to go for a run. Since I get really distracted by seeing the time on the treadmill, I opted to go outdoors. Today is a nice day, mid to upper sixties for the high...great sweating weather. As I gathered my things to go, I realized that I needed to take my keys, my water bottle, and my cell phone so that I could keep track of the time and use the stop watch (and in case I encountered any creeps that I needed to call the police on, lol). Then I realized, my key was too small to put in my sports bra and that it would probably fall out mid-run. And of course I couldn't fit my water bottle in there (lol)...further, I didn't want my cell phone to get all sweaty so I couldn't put that in there either.

The next option was to store things in my shoe.

....an OBVIOUS no-go.

So, I checked my closet.
Because out of all the things I do own, a fanny pack would have to be one of them, right??

WRONG.

Then my mind wandered back to the other day when I was at the thrift store.
There were two fanny packs there...and they were only 75 cents...siiigh ::smacks forehead::

...................So today, I had to settle for a tread mill run.
I brought post-it notes to cover up the time, BUT they kept falling off :(

So overall, my techniques to not see the time were a fail,
BUT I did successfully run a mile in 10:42, which is much better than yesterday's over 13 minutes. To have had such improvement from one day to the next makes me think that perhaps I haven't been exerting myself enough.

Maybe there really are 8 minutes or less inside of me and I don't need three months of training to reach it. Maybe just maybe I can run a mile in 6 minutes???

Hmmm...

8K Excitement!!!

I'm a tad bit amped about working out now that I've started to set goals for myself. In the past, I've just went to the gym because I felt like I should, but because I love a good challenge, the thought of reaching the goals I've began to make has me SO excited about going nowadays!!

When I was in middle and high school, I was the top flex arm hanger in the Eastern District. I also was able to do a little over fifty crunches in a minute and run a mile in a little over eight minutes. I'm like, "what happened???" Nowadays, I'm barely making fourteen minutes per mile and I can barely do thirty crunches without falling out, forget how long it takes me to do them.

So now, I'm determined to reach and surpass my previous records. I want those old thangs back (lol)

And in order to keep me on track, I've decided to participate in the 2011 CHKD RunWalk for the Kids. I'm going to run all 8K in no more than 45 minutes.

And that's final ;-)

Song/Video of the Week- I Owe All-James Fortune & FIYA

It's the season of Lent (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lent) and we truly do owe our all to Jesus, so I thought this song/video would be perfect! God is so good and Jesus is truly worth of whatever sacrifices we give Him. He gave us His life so we can give Him forty days.

Dread Inspiration

In the wee-hours of this morning, I made this collage to keep me inspired during my loc journey. I have a vision for my Peasies and this will help remind me of that:

Each picture tugged at my heart in some way, for some reason. And YOU KNOW I had to throw my boo Lil' Wayne in there, just because he's the sexiest man in the world with dreads (lol). I also am in love with Ledisi's dreads (bottom row, 2nd, 3rd, and 5th pictures). Google her!

Updates! :)

Okay, so over a month has passed and SO much about my life has changed. The majorly (is that a word?) noticeable changes are as follows:

• I started growing dreads!! I love them SO, SO, SO, SO, VERY much. In the stage that their in right now, I've nicknamed them "Peasies;" however, I'm looking for another name for when they grow longer. The name "NKYINKYIM" kind of has me sold. It's West African for "twisting" and is the symbol for initiative, dynamism, and versatility. I think that's the perfect name for my grown-up Peasies and the perfect word to describe me! Now I just have to figure out how to pronounce it (lol)
  

• I stopped getting my eyebrows done :( Only for the time being. I went to the M.A.C. counter back in January and the sales associate told me that I had such a lovely arch and that my eyebrows had the potential to be so full...contingent upon me not getting them done every two weeks like I had been doing. She said that I only need to get my eyebrows done every 3-6 months and that's only if there's no possible way for me to manage them at that point. She also schooled me by telling me that they should only take hair from the top and NEVER the bottom. Since then, I have been using my M.A.C. eyebrow pencil (color: Spiked) to fill in the gaps in my brows. I've been tweezing and snipping little pieces when necessary, but for the most part, they've been holding up. I'm proud...and in a few more months, I'll be the even prouder owner of a thick set of eyebrows (lol)

• I'm not sure if this is a noticeable change, but it will be soon! I've started going back to the gym. In the past, I've went faithfully for up to three weeks at a time...only to stop and not go back for at least a month or two. I HAVE TO BREAK THAT CYCLE. The day before yesterday (03/10/11) I made up my mind that I was going to go to the gym that next morning. And you know what? I woke up at 6:30 and I did!! I think what has discouraged me in the past is the fact that I wasn't running the treadmill at the rate that I wanted to. But, it's a process...and as long as I keep my goal in mind and push myself to become a little better each day, I'll be there in no time.

Some other changes that are not so noticeable are my post-graduation plans and my recent epiphany about my sense of fashion. Instead of staying in the area and attending a local university (which, by the way, has an AMAZING social work program), I've decided on making a big move!! I'll keep everything to myself for now, but I'm excited...I've been here for almost 21 years (100 days 'til my 21st...yay!) and my welcome has long been overstayed!

Regarding my fashion sense, I've realized how vintage I am becoming. I went to the thrift store twice last week, spending about $50 total and coming out with 8 handbags/clutches, 4 or 5 blouses, a skirt, a couple of scarves, and a beautiful corduroy jacket from Banana Republic. The funny thing is that I have SO many unworn clothes. I am always well put together when I go to class, but I rarely ever put any effort into getting dressed. Since there's nothing to do around here, there's no reason to wear anything worth wearing. I'm just going to assume that God is stocking up my wardrobe for the big move?! ;-)

No matter what OUT look you want to achieve, shea butter is the key!! Simply wash, condition, and de-tangle your hair then apply a healthy amount of shea butter to each section before you braid, twist, or bantu knot it.

Braid, Twist, Bantu...OUT!!!

Concept of the Day: "The Librarian"

Not as "plain jane" as what you'd expect a bookworm to wear...NONETHELESS I went for the librarian look with this outfit.

I paired some flat, black oxfords...

...with a nifty dress and long cardigan combo

Accessory wise, I threw on a skinny, teal, snake-print belt, some black tights, my swarovski crystal encrusted wrist watch, and some medium-sized black ball earrings. I pulled my hair back into a pony puff and did a two-strand flat twist in the front:

Here's a close-up of the long coat I wore to protect me from the harsh winds that were blowing that day!

dress: Wet Seal,

belt: Forever 21,

cardigan: Forever 21,

tights: Forever 21,

long coat: Forever 21,

shoes: UrbanOg,

watch: Aldo,

earrings: Wet Seal

Song of the Week

This week, I've chosen "Me" by Tamia.

Listen & watch here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Y32h6L_ts0

For me, the words don't necessarily correlate to a romantic relationship, but to the many other things I put before myself: organizations, school, the needs of my friends and family.

I guess this is my declaration that I'm taking my life back..."loving you and loving me don't seem to work at all...you know if I have to choose, I choose me."

Video of the Week--Beyoncé - Flaws And All

I know I'm SUPER late, but I am IN LOVE with this video.
The first time I saw it was yesterday (embarassed), but it spoke to me in so many different ways...

**New Blog Schedule**

Restraining Anger.

Good Morning.

Have you ever met someone who can make you feel like they cursed you out, yet they don’t even have to say a single curse word?…or maybe you are that person? Either way, all of us can relate to the disappointment felt after we realize that we’ve spoken out of anger, hurt a loved one, and are unable to reverse the hands of time to go back and reselect our words. The truth is that no matter how much damage sticks and stones are capable of causing, angry words are able to cause ten times more. Broken bones and other physical injuries are temporary, but internal injuries—as a result of words—have the power to break up friendships, end marriages, illicit school shootings, start wars, etc. So if we’re aware of the effects that our words can have on the egos and self-esteems of others, why do we continue to speak them out of anger? And to our loved ones at that? We can feel when we’re angry; we aren’t ignorant to the rising of heat inside of our chests, the sweat that moistens our palms, or the gritting of our incisors. And if we know when we’re getting angry, that means we also have the power to stop our anger from hurting someone else. There is no such thing as not being able to control yourself. James 3:8-10 (NKJV) says, “the tongue is unruly, evil, and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and with it we also curse men…this should not be.” Knowing this, we have to learn to “be angry but sin not” (Ephesians 4:26, KJV) because our anger can ultimately lead to us losing those who are most important to us, but most importantly can cause us to shame our Father. Remember, “people with good sense restrain their anger.” (Proverbs 19:11, ESV)…and because I’m sure you want to be known as someone with good sense, it is imperative that you learn to restrain your anger.

Have a blessed day and thank you for reading!